Tuesday 13 May 2014

I want him to help him heal

Living Life says
Almost a year ago I made the biggest mistake of my life; cheating on my fiance/father of my children. I was afraid of commitment and was not thinking right, but never mind why I did it, point is it was done. I have realized how wrong I was and how much I have hurt him. I don't ever want him to know that pain again, and I know that I will never do this again because of that. I love this man more than my next breath, and just want him to be happy, but I'm running out ideas of how to help him. I've even tried telling him that he would be happier if he'd leave me, and I've waived my rights to child support if he were to do so. Can anyone give advice on how to help him?

There are three separate issues here. Firstly he needs to be at least willing to forgive you - that will come first. Healing however will take some considerable time, and you will need to be patient. It's a consequence of your action and you will have to live with it for some time - there is no quick fix. The third issue is trust - that will take even longer and may never come back fully. Again this is a price you will have to accept and pay. It's important not to keep going over in your mind what you did as that will help neither of you. You can only change what you do now. Focus on that, and if your mutual love is strong enough, your relationship will survive.

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