Tuesday 27 May 2014

I need help splitting up with someone I care about

SueFitz77 says
My partner is my ex husband, we decided to give it another go about 18 months ago. I live with him again also. I did have my own flat, but had to give it up when I lost my job as I could no longer afford it, I moved back to my parents house, but as we started seeing each other more, I ended up staying at his all the time. I don't go around telling people we're back together. I have kind of hidden myself away again because of him. I left him and divorced him for various reasons and I always said I wouldnt go back to him, I enjoyed my freedom, I could be me again and I loved that. Anyway we did get back and now I feel that I have gone round in a circle and I am now back to where I was when we were married, I have put on alot of weight again (I lost alot when we broke up & I liked myself) and now I don't really see my family and friends as much any more because he does not like them. I even spent xmas dinner away from them and I was on limited time when I did go round and see them because of him.
He is great at being manipulative, but he can be very loving and caring at the same time. But our relationship to me is just like a friendship, I can not have sex with him it makes me feel sick. I can not talk to him, becasue of the way he makes me feel when I do try. I just dont know what to do, I will feel guilty if I just leave. I am not a strong person any more like I used to be. I tend to bury my head in the sand with things, I feel like I am stuck :-(  Any ideas? 



Time for courage. Just go, preferably when he's not around. You don't have to discuss it with him, and it wouldn't change him anyway. you could also get someone to help you move out for moral support.

What's NOT going to happen is for the SAS to burst in and whisk you away in a helicopter. No one is coming to save you - you must save yourself. However sweet he can be, he's bad for you and you need to get away from him. His feelings are his problem not yours. The bottom line is you no longer desire him. That is reason enough.

Whatever guilt or fear you may feel, do this anyway. It's courage or enslavement - the choice is that simple.

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