SueFitz77 says
My partner is my ex husband, we decided to give it another go about 18
months ago. I live with him again also. I did have my own flat, but had
to give it up when I lost my job as I could no longer afford it, I moved
back to my parents house, but as we started seeing each other more, I
ended up staying at his all the time. I don't go around telling people
we're back together. I have kind of hidden myself away again because of
him. I left him and divorced him for various reasons and I always said I
wouldnt go back to him, I enjoyed my freedom, I could be me again and I
loved that. Anyway we did get back and now I feel that I have gone
round in a circle and I am now back to where I was when we were married,
I have put on alot of weight again (I lost alot when we broke up & I
liked myself) and now I don't really see my family and friends as much
any more because he does not like them. I even spent xmas dinner away
from them and I was on limited time when I did go round and see them
because of him.
He is great at being manipulative, but he can be very loving and caring
at the same time. But our relationship to me is just like a friendship,
I can not have sex with him it makes me feel sick. I can not talk to
him, becasue of the way he makes me feel when I do try. I just dont know
what to do, I will feel guilty if I just leave. I am not a strong
person any more like I used to be. I tend to bury my head in the sand
with things, I feel like I am stuck :-( Any ideas?
Time for courage. Just go, preferably when he's not around. You don't
have to discuss it with him, and it wouldn't change him anyway. you
could also get someone to help you move out for moral support.
What's NOT going to happen is for the SAS to burst in and whisk you away
in a helicopter. No one is coming to save you - you must save yourself.
However sweet he can be, he's bad for you and you need to get away from
him. His feelings are his problem not yours. The bottom line is you no
longer desire him. That is reason enough.
Whatever guilt or fear you may feel, do this anyway. It's courage or enslavement - the choice is that simple.
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