Monday 10 February 2014

I still think about her

Toys says:
Ever since I left Germany five years ago (at the age of nearly 16) and moved to England my life has been pretty much on the decline. Not academically but much more personally…I’m no longer the same person I once used to be.

I’ve been thinking about reasons for my emotional state and have come to the conclusion that I’m missing my friends…especially a specific girl. The way I left was not respectful and I have so many regrets because I didn’t appreciate what I had. These days I’m more of an individual…I don’t have anyone around me and often feel very lonely.

Recently I’ve been thinking that maybe I should visit the place for some ‘closure’ because I can’t continue living with myself with all these ‘thoughts’ swirling around in my head. I want to see them again (especially her) for the final time in my life and apologise for my wrongdoings.

Do you think that this is a good idea?

It’s not that I want to confess my love to her. A lot has changed in recent years so she probably has a partner but I just need to see her once again with my eyes. 


The way you are looking at this is very sensible and reasonable. I understand your desire for "closure" but if you do this, you are taking a calculated risk - you might not get the response you were hoping for!
There's an old Tibetan proverb that says "when you lose, don't lose the lesson". I think it's time for you to stop beating yourself up about the past and move on, applying what you have learned to new situations. Otherwise you will just be stuck in a time-warp reliving past mistakes.

You are no longer that person, and neither are they - you have all moved on and gone separate ways. Accept this and start building a new life in England. Set yourself some achievable goals, work towards them and focus on making a difference now. We all have regret and loss in the past - stop letting it beat you up and start doing something positive where you are right now.

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