Sunday 26 January 2014

Shall I tell him how I feel?

Lauren says:
So I am a sophomore and he is a freshman in college and we met at the beginning of the year. Long story short, we started hanging out, he used to to text me all the time asking what I was doing, I have slept over before(we didn't go farther than kissing and cuddling), going to dinner and those types of things. We used to hang out all the time. I started to realize I had developed feelings for him and I have never told him how I felt,because I just don't want to lose what we do have already. We had a good things going. I was always scared to tell him. People would always ask what was going on with us. We go a small school and are in the same major so I see him a lot and have to go to school with him for the next two and a half years so telling him I feel like would be awkward. Anyways, shortly after hanging out and people asking us what is going on..he just stopped texting me and hanging out. This is totally fine that he wants to hang out with his friends and do his own thing but it was totally out of the blue. I asked him if anything was up and he said "everything is fine", but I wonder if everything is fine then why did he just stop texting me and stuff. When we were hanging out he would tease me and ask when me and his roommate were going to do it(this actually made me mad because I didn't like his roommate I liked him). I figured he was joking and played it cool like we were just friends so didn't take it seriously. He doesn't like his roommate. Anyways, now I really miss him and now when ever I see him he calls me buddy, and if I do text him though he responds and acts sort of like he used to. Recently I asked him if he wanted to do something soon and he responded with "absolutely, can't wait" I can't tell if he is just being nice or genuinely wants to see me. When we pass each other at school(We ALWAYS run into each other..its bizarre. he waves and I wave back.) I know all girls say this but he and I are great together and I want to try again and not be guarded. He has been hanging out with his girl(who I think likes him) but he hasn't done anything else with any girls like he did with me this year. Any insight?

Relationships are always a risk business, and here's the dilemma - if you never put your cards on the table NOTHING WILL EVER HAPPEN but if you do, you could be rejected. Often, each one waits for the other one to make that risky move - and what can happen as a result is that nobody does.

The people who are most successful in relationships and life in general are those prepared to take calculated risks, and to take the hurt, rejection and failure when it comes. So here's your choice - gamble that he'll make the move you want him to make or gamble by telling him how you really feel. The paradox is that if you want to be happy you must take the chance of being hurt - possibly a lot! Those who play safe face a different kind of hurt - constantly saying "If only I had...." in their older years when the opportunity has gone.

Wanna be happy? Take the chance - tell him how you feel. Accept the consequences gracefully. You will either win or learn. In life accept you might have to learn a lot! Good luck.

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